Neither a Borrower nor a Lender Be
by Firefly119
Summary: After his desertion, Gideon returns occasionally to secretly look in on his family and the team. When he turns to an old colleague for help with this, he finds the score leveled against him in a heart breaking way..Team fic, no pairings R/R


Neither a Lender nor a Borrower Be…

**Subtitled:** _From Time to Time_

**Quotation:** **"When you buy a vase cheap, look for the flaw; when a man offers favors, look for the motive"** Japanese Proverb

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Summary: After his desertion, Gideon returns occasionally to secretly look in on his family and the team. When he turns to all old colleague for help with this, he finds the score leveled against him in a heart breaking way….This a team fic. No pairings, will be case centric. The only OCs are Gideon's kids but really this is Gideon's story. Neither his son or his daughter will be mary sue, not only cause that drives me insane but because it's totally illogical given the circumstances.

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Gideon may have left the FBI years ago but it's not like surveillance was something you could just forget. Well, not for him anyway. After Rachel's death two years earlier Stephen had gotten his own place – of course when Gideon thought about it, it did make sense. After all, Stephen was twenty-eight now, and since his mother no longer needed him to care for her, why wouldn't he? Gideon climbed out his SUV and dug some coins out of his pants pocket. He dropped them one at a time into the meter. Unconsciously he rubbed his chin as he walked unseeing towards the Capital building.

No, he assured himself, it was best that Stephen had struck out on his own and out from under his hugely successful and well known step- brother. The problem was, unlike his sister who had no memory of him, Stephen had been nearly seven when Rachel had left him and remarried the wealthy, if a bit eccentric Josh Hadley. And the problem with Stephen remembering was he not only remembered how his father had disappeared without a trace shortly after Kate's first birthday but he also remembered exactly what Jason Gideon looked like and he didn't appreciate his father lurking silently in corners a couple times a year. Stephen had made this abundantly clear the one time Gideon had gotten up the courage to call him shortly after Rachel's death.

The call had not ended well.

But Rachel had just died, and Gideon had wanted to spare him what little pain he could by avoiding pointing the finger. His noble intentions hadn't mattered anyway, before he could even get that far, Stephen hung up on him with a terse, "It's been seventeen years and all you can think to say is 'Hey, Stephen it's your dad'? Too little, too late. Why don't you just go back to stalking us, it's creepy but at least its not invasive!" CLICK

He paused at the steps of the building, tourists, interns, support staff surging around him. He looked like a rock in the middle of a river, the waters parting seamlessly around him.

He didn't like to remember that day. He had wanted to explain why, why he had left, why he had never been there, or at the very least made his presence known when he was – to explain that his mother had asked him to disappear, had begged him to let the kids have a fresh start. He had wanted to tell Stephen that Rachel had, quite wisely he thought, pointed out how confusing it was for the kids that their father was gone sometimes for weeks at time. How they had agreed that Kate wouldn't even remember and while Stephen would be hurt for a time, well, kids were elastic. He would cope.

And Stephen did cope. While still alive Rachel had quietly kept him informed. Stephen and his stepfather grew close. After Josh officially adopted him a year later, Stephen began to call him dad. Rachel had assured him that it was because Kate and Jake did but they both knew it was more. Gideon had been the ghost of Stephen and Kate's lives -the silent partner in their triumphs and tragedies. He had stood to the side of soccer games, been in the back of the auditorium for Kate's big stage debut. He'd even gone to their high school and college graduations.

It was those moments – Stephen scoring a goal, Kate receiving roses after the curtains closed, Stephen giving his graduation speech, Kate receiving her high school diploma – those were the moments he was convinced he had done the right thing by his kids. Even if it killed him to see Josh picking up Kate when she threw a temper tantrum at Stephen's little league game, or give Stephen a huge hug at Rachel's funeral – there was no denying it. Josh Hadley loved those kids. Those kids loved him back. Calling him 'dad' was not a formality. He was there dad, in every way that counted.

In every way he wasn't.

Gideon shook his head realizing he had reached the top of the stairs. Since 9/11, getting into the capital building was no mean feat, but Gideon still had he badge. Even if it did have 'retired' stamped on it, a simple flash and he was admitted through security.

Gideon wasn't even a hundred percent sure Stephen would be here. He knew Kate wouldn't – she never came to these things unless it was absolutely necessary but Stephen probably would.

He took his seat in the gallery.

Gideon had been living in North Carolina since he had left the Bureau but he came back to D.C. twice a year to see his kids – and the team. Of course he meant see literally, he saw them. They didn't see him. He structured these trips around Stephen. His team was always easy to track down, but for Stephen he had to wait for him to be drawn out of the woodwork. Not for the first time he was glad that Jake Hadley was voraciously ambitious. When Gideon had read about this whole thing in the paper and knew that this was his shot. It had been seven months and he was beginning to get worried.

As for Kate, ever since she had graduated a few months earlier he had had an intermediary working on his behalf. Granted a rather reluctant intermediary but…

He couldn't think about now. He had to think about Stephen. He'd see Kate tomorrow after he looked in on Reid.

"The Chair recognizes the Junior Senator from Connecticut. Senator Hadley?"

Gideon looked on in interest as Jake stood up. Jake Hadley, at thirty-five, was the youngest senator since Biden had been elected in the early seventies. After prep school, college and law school, Jake had done a short stint in the state legislature and decided to play with the big kids. With an almost obnoxious ability to charm and pockets so deep that there had been sniggers in the press that he and Senator Kerry should just fund the bailout themselves if they were so crazy about it, Gideon hadn't been at all surprised when Jake had announced his candidacy or that he had won. Even the choice of state hadn't surprised him. After all, the Hadleys may have come from old southern money but Jake had been educated at Choate and Yale. He'd spent all of his adolescence and adult life there. It made sense.

"… Ladies and gentleman of the Senate," Jake was saying. "To not support this bill would amount to nothing short of gross negligence. We are talking about the health care of thirty million American children, most of whom come from the poorest echelons of our society…" he spoke emphatically, eloquently, passionately.

Gideon tuned out as he began to scan the back of the chamber.

His heart stopped. He was there, fourth from the left. It was Stephen. He was watching his stepbrother with an inscrutable look on his face. A look Gideon knew all too well. His grey eyes (although Gideon couldn't see him from this distance) were trained unblinkingly on his brothers gesturing hand. Gideon saw him bow his head of brown curls and scribbled feverishly in a note pad, probably to share with Jake after.

For the first time in months, Jason Gideon smiled. He had been right. The health care initiative was Jake Hadley's baby, the moment Gideon had read about it he _knew _Stephen would be there. Just has he had once known when a suspect was lying. He'd known because Stephen was fiercely loyal and worshipped his older brother. Gideon studied the circles under Stephen's eyes and frowned. He'd probably been up for weeks helping Jake prepare. He sighed and shook his head. Stephen was pretty high up in a local think tank, it wasn't like he didn't already have a lot to do or need the sleep. But that was Stephen. Even if it meant living off coffee and adderall, he'd pick up the three am phone calls.

Jason sat there for nearly four hours watching his son. Life really was about simple pleasures.

By the time he left the Capital building it was nearly seven and the sun was thinking about setting. It was a beautiful night, and for a moment, a rare moment, Gideon felt at peace. Mutilated bodies no longer clouded his vision. Seeing his family was like a drug. He'd had his first fix and he was about to go on a binge.

He smiled gently and walked over to the car.

Gideon watched her go into the Whole Foods and waited five minutes before following her in. With anyone else this would have been risky – except for maybe Garcia. Morgan would definitely have noticed him, so would Hotch but not Prentiss. Besides she didn't even seem present as she strolled through the aisles looking at products distractedly. He wondered idly if she was thinking about a case. Making himself busy with the pasta he stole a glance at her cart.

Nope, not a case.

Wine, cheese, strawberries, whip cream – it was safe to say she was definitely thinking about other, more pleasant things. He suppressed a smile and walked surreptitiously to the door.

For a moment Prentiss looked up, confused. She stared at the now empty doorway. "Nah, couldn't be." She muttered with a smile, feeling a bit silly and went back to wondering if her date liked goat cheese.

Gideon drove back to his hotel at a leisurely pace. Today had been a good day. Two down, seven to go.

He picked up is phone and pressed send. "Hey it's me, what time are you meeting her?...Okay I will see you then."

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**A/N - **Thank you all for reading. We're about two parts away from the case. Next time Gideon sees the rest of the team (including a brief scene with Reid) and his daughter and, unbeknownst to him, an old score is settled. Next chapter also told from Gideon's POV, but not all the chapters will be.

Please review. All comments are welcome. Also not to worry Reid won't be falling madly in love with Kate (or Stephen for that matter), neither will anybody else. ;)


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